Nikon D40 – Ione, Ca
I am a dreamer by nature, I can’t really help it. I’ve always felt like I could afford my “expensive” habit – no not crack, photography. I felt like it was affordable before I really started getting serious about it (I’ve always been kind of hot and cold/on and off when it comes to being consistent about working on “my art”). My mom like any mom has always encouraged me to explore this area of my life, that if I was so unhappy with school and my job that I should just give photography a chance as the real thing- not just my hobby. After being fed up of the crap I keep seeing people overcharging for on the internet, I decided to get serious about my love of film and go for it. Hey if they can do it crappily and charge money, why can’t I do it better?
Up until recently I’ve lived a pretty privileged spoiled life. I’m still pretty privileged because I’ve never gone a day hungry, my power has yet to be shut off, and I haven’t over-drafted since 2008. But I’m starting to learn and understand why my professor once said that her love of photography caused her divorce. She was constantly spending their nest-egg on her habit vice, if you will. Its like a compulsive sickness – B&H catalogs are like porn to me. There’s this 40,000 dollar medium format with a digital and film back camera that will be mine if I ever do anything significant… SEE what I mean? Okay maybe you can’t, but trust, there is drool coming out of my mouth as I sit here and type about this beautiful piece of technology. ANYWAY, tangent – sorry.
I guess I’m coming to realize that I have to start sacrificing things in my life, luxuries, in order to really roll with this whole developing-my–portfolio thing. Film ain’t cheap, lab time is even more expensive – Ugh and I’m a perfectionist- dollar signs are flickering through my head right now. Breathe Valerie, breathe.
The point of me going on this quick rant is really to ask you all a question- how do you come to terms with sacrificing for the sake of your passions? Is it possible to break the “starving artist” stereotype? Am I shooting myself in the foot by sticking by my love for film over digital- in a digital obsessed society?
Maybe I’m asking because I need some kind of reassurance, but I am genuinely interested in hearing responses – comments are welcome if not ENCOURAGED. <3