what a thoughtful thursday

Dillon Beach, 200 speed fuji superia film

I was recently asked to really look inside myself and figure out what I want from this (this being my whole quest to pursue my love of photography), and see where I want to take it. I’ve been trying to think things over, map things out in my head, but honestly I feel lost.

I don’t know any other photographers who’s main focus isn’t portraiture that have “made it” and I use that term loosely. “Making it” in my head means being able to be sustained financially through photography, or breaking even really. I know in order to be financially smart I need to invest in going digital for any professional work I do, and make my love of film a part-time thing on the side, but I would feel like a total sell-out if I started jumping into doing portraits, weddings, and events. Yes, I would like to try it out just for experience and to see if I’m any good at it since I’ve never really given it a shot, but its just not my passion. The easy answer is to just work a regular 9-5 job that can support my passion of photography part time and keep it as a hobby, but I feel like I would be selling myself short by doing something I don’t love full time and the things I love whenever I can create a spare slot of time in my schedule.

And to dig a little deeper, I’m not 100% sure I could even “make it” in the art or commercial photography world. So many photographers out there are so talented, and the ones who make use of old school techniques are being out shadowed by digital freaks who overuse effects that buyers tend to flock towards. The art is being lost I feel like. Its tough being in love with a dying art form, and not being sure if you’re even any good at it. I know I’m decent, and maybe I’m being overly critical of my own work, but I just feel like so many people out there are WAY better than me. Maybe I just need to practice more and think less, who knows.

Sorry this is so rambly and disorganized, its been on my mind all week and I needed to just get it out somewhere and maybe hear some of your feedback. I would like to hear your opinions or comments on this.  :)

2 thoughts on “what a thoughtful thursday

Add yours

  1. Val, you have talent worth exploring. don’t sell yourself short. you should research the art of making film/photography and bring back some history. you have the passion to maybe write about it and sell books; and your writing is NOT rambling. the passion is portrayed in your writing. I know you will figure this out.

    LOVE YOU, MAJA

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