I may have bit off more than I can chew with this whole resolution bucket list thing which I soon realized as soon as my work schedule and school schedule took over my life leaving me with only 1 day off a week…
This last week one of my coworkers that I’ve had the pleasure of working with for almost 3 years suddenly passed away. He was just barely 21.
Life is so fucking short, and its in these horrible moments that I’m reminded that nothing else matters but living life and loving it. These are those bigger picture moments. I have the option of asking, screaming at god, why? why him? why now? why not me? But instead of being angry that someone so sweet, caring, open minded, kind was taken out of this world too early, I have to draw something positive from this and grow, that’s what life is about anyway, right? Anyway, back to my point.
Before all this happened I was ready to give up because I only had 1 weekend left to get it done and no energy, my resolution wasn’t looking too good. A couple weeks ago we had a team dinner and I mentioned the idea to JK (his name is Joshua but we call him JK), because he literally just turned 21 and he was all for my idea of going to karaoke. At first when I found out about his passing I selfisly thought, well for sure I’m not going to go through with this bucket list, how can I celebrate something and act happy when JKs family is going through the worst thing ever? But honestly, I don’t think JK would want me to put my life or dreams, no matter how small, on hold just to be sad. In my time working side by side with him 20 hours or more a week, I had never once seen him angry or upset, well maybe once when he had his first heartbreak and I had to give him the “all girls are crazy anyway, Jk” speech. He was just not the type to dwell on the negative.
I truly believe people come into your life for a reason, and they leave it for a reason. The only way I can even BEGIN to wrap my head around what happened this week is that JK was brought into my life for a short amount of time to teach me something. He was so bright, so funny, he had a unique and quirky humor, he approached life with childlike innocence, was open minded, non judgmental and took life in stride. And that doesn’t even begin to describe all his amazing qualities. The only positive thing I can bring out of this dark time is that he was our lives for such a short time so we could learn to be as wonderful as he was, and trust me, you never forget someone like JK that is taken out of this world way too early.
I know it might seem like a coping-cop out but honestly, wouldn’t you rather celebrate the life someone lived rather than mourn their loss? Everyone copes a little different and after a few days of crying non stop I’m ready to celebrate his life and honor his memory by trying to take a little piece of him with me wherever I go, whatever I do. To be a little more like JK.
This weekend I strapped on my happy face and went out with my friends despite being totally emotionally drained. Saturday I gathered up everyone I wanted to cheer me on and we went to the Pine Cove Tavern where I signed up for my karaoke debut. My song of choice was Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls which I think is totally appropriate since the opening lyrics are “when you’re feeling sad and low, we will take you where you wanna go, smiling dancing everything is free, all you need is positivity” and besides, who doesn’t love some Spice Girls! I won’t bother you with pictures or video of the event because lets be honest- it wasn’t pretty. But I was really excited that I got to cross this off my bucket list, because seriously, you really never know when its your last day here. I think it was the perfect way to honor JKs memory this weekend by going after something I’ve always wanted to try, and that- had circumstances been different- he would have been right beside me helping me belt it out.
I’m so glad I had the pleasure of knowing such a great person like JK and my heart aches for his family and closest friends, he was like our little brother at work and I cant even begin to imagine what they’re going through. Thank you JK for being such a shining example of what it is to be an amazing person and thank you for making me push through and be courageous enough to try karaoke. Thanks friend.
And since I don’t want to end this post on such a depressing and sad note I’ve attached a video of the original song, in case you’re unfamiliar with the wonderful Spice Girls. If you were there this weekend at karaoke… this is what it SHOULD HAVE sounded like. :)