Where do I even begin? Like most, 2020 has been a doozy. 2019 really kicked it off for me though, so we’ll start there.

In the later half of 2019 we uprooted and moved to East Oakland so I could be closer to my new job in SF. The apartment was fantastic, but the neighborhood was rough as expected, our cars were broken into, people shot in the street in front of us, the whole stereotypical East Oakland experience. Then around thanksgiving my boyfriends mom died suddenly, and I was laid off by my job (with severance thankfully). New Years Eve 2019-2020 I found myself wishing that 2020 would bring in a new year for my personal growth.

Be careful what you wish for.

By the end of Feb I finally was hired on at a new exciting startup changing the lives of many. Finally, a company with a soul and a clean purpose. Two weeks into enjoying a reason to put on pants and makeup again the pandemic hit and the first major lockdown happened. I was working from home suddenly so I did what every normal millennial does and stocked up on office supplies and a printer for the first time in years.

2 more weeks into that and I get the devastating news that in order to preserve our startup runway funding, we’re all taking pay cuts instead of being laid off. My pay was reduced by 75% and I no longer could afford living in the bay area. So we started making plans to move back to Sacramento with my family until we could get financially stable again. $3600 later and less a couch, we were back in Sacramento squeezing our king sized bed, two humans, and a dog into my parent’s spare bedroom.

To say this felt like a low point would be an understatement. But don’t worry it gets lower. After months, possibly years of deliberation, my bf and I called it quits on our relationship of 4 years. Initially it was mutual and amicable, but as these things go on hurt is uncovered. I’m not sure if we’ll ever be friends again which is unfortunate but I understand the hurt and the why.

So here I am again, single dog mom at 35 living at home with my parents while I am saving to buy my first home because the idea of paying $3600 ever again to a landlord is absurd.

I can’t leave you like this though. There is a huge upside to all of this. Moving back home changed something in me, maybe the pressure of being here without privacy 247 or the pressure of the pandemic which is affecting us all. I discovered a new side to myself. I have spent the last 6 months undergoing the most intense spiritual awakening of my life and for that, I am so grateful for. More on that later.

Also, I’m happy to report my salary has stabilized a bit and I’ve been saving money like crazy for a down payment on a house.

So there you have it. A quick recap on the fuckery that has been my last 12 months. I have no expectations for 2021 at this point.